My name is Kathryn Sugar. I am 18 years old and I am a survivor of bullying.
I have been bullied since fourth grade. Ever since I moved to the Southern part of New Jersey. It was fine back then, just kid stuff. But middleschool started the worst of it. I started becoming distant to other kids, never really talking except to friends. I hid my pain away. Then highschool rolled around and well. The shit hit the fan. I became isolated, ridiculed. I even got batteries thrown at me. It made me into a mess. I would scratch till I left gouges. And it didn't just stop at school. I went to a dance studio and it happened there too. Eventually i would lock myself away in a dark place and sob, asking God why he made me this way. Why I couldn't be normal. By sophmore year I had become violent. I plotted the murders of my fellow students. I drank alcohol. I carried a garrotte in the bottom of my bag. I wrote death poetry and murder stories. I even attempted to kill myself many times. But on the outside you would think I was just a normal happy teenager that liked to read. Eventually I went to therapy. And life got a little better. Senior year I found the butterfly project. It was my savior. I followed those rules religiously. And in the end,
I turned out okay.
Broken but okay.
I burned all my horrible stories, poems and plots. I buried the garrotte deep in the woods where nobody could find it.
The problem is nobody knows what bullying can do to people. I almost became a news headline from it.
Hell, I still have attacks of depression and if i go 50 feet near that highschool I get anxiety attacks and unconsciously scratch my arm. But in the end I'm okay and I help others.
So what if I have a big chest. So what if i'm fat around the stomach area. I'm proud of who I am, flaws and all. And you know what? I have a family that loves me and helps me through my attacks. And I wear a butterfly in sharpee on my ankle as a reminder that I went through hell, and found my own heaven.