My name is Kathryn Sugar. I am 18 years old and I am a survivor of bullying.
I have been bullied since fourth grade. Ever since I moved to the Southern part of New Jersey. It was fine back then, just kid stuff. But middleschool started the worst of it. I started becoming distant to other kids, never really talking except to friends. I hid my pain away. Then highschool rolled around and well. The shit hit the fan. I became isolated, ridiculed. I even got batteries thrown at me. It made me into a mess. I would scratch till I left gouges. And it didn't just stop at school. I went to a dance studio and it happened there too. Eventually i would lock myself away in a dark place and sob, asking God why he made me this way. Why I couldn't be normal. By sophmore year I had become violent. I plotted the murders of my fellow students. I drank alcohol. I carried a garrotte in the bottom of my bag. I wrote death poetry and murder stories. I even attempted to kill myself many times. But on the outside you would think I was just a normal happy teenager that liked to read. Eventually I went to therapy. And life got a little better. Senior year I found the butterfly project. It was my savior. I followed those rules religiously. And in the end,
I turned out okay.
Broken but okay.
I burned all my horrible stories, poems and plots. I buried the garrotte deep in the woods where nobody could find it.
The problem is nobody knows what bullying can do to people. I almost became a news headline from it.
Hell, I still have attacks of depression and if i go 50 feet near that highschool I get anxiety attacks and unconsciously scratch my arm. But in the end I'm okay and I help others.
So what if I have a big chest. So what if i'm fat around the stomach area. I'm proud of who I am, flaws and all. And you know what? I have a family that loves me and helps me through my attacks. And I wear a butterfly in sharpee on my ankle as a reminder that I went through hell, and found my own heaven.
This made me feel very happy to read, thank you for sharing your story and being strong!!!
Merci. If you want to join the cause just join AntiBullyCosplayInc
I'm happy you stayed strong and pulled through. Those bullies who started this mess were idiots.
Thank you. I hope you join the cause to stop bullying like I have.
Yes, definitely. Do you know of any cool organizations I could join? I don't really know of any yet.
i am glad ur ok chica
Oh, mia sorella! I'm so glad you're okay and I met you! You make me so happy and I'm glad for you!
thank you, this really helped me. you are a wonderful person and i am so glad that you made it through this.
Thank you. And remember I am here for you if you need me. Any time of day if you message me I will respond.
thanks. i really like this idea of havong someone there for me.
I want you to have what I didn't when it started for me. Someone to help. If I had gone to therapy years ago I wouldn't have spiraled down so far.
thank you so much. i like that i don't really know where or who you are because i was forced to go the therapy and i didn't like the thought of somone who knew my real self so i pulled my "i'm just a happy girl" act and i didn't have to go anymore. i still have a really really big problem with trusting people so i'm glad that i can use the internet to help me. does that make sense to you?
Yeah. I did the "sane girl act" too. And don't worry I am nicknamed the Angel of the Internet by close friends. Because i leave little helpful things around the internet. And if you want to know more about me. All you need to do is ask. I'm willing to talk if you are willing to listen and take a step.
I am so, so glad you're here and not gone. Thank you for not doing anything foolish, I'm so glad you're here and not gone. I'm glad to have known you, and glad you're on Deviantart, so I could've have met you.
you're so welcome. I just want to be a good role model now and show people there's alternatives to suicide and self harm. That there are people out there who care and want to help you. But first you have to reach out and accept that help. I may be just a fraction of the joyous child i once was but now I can build back up to who I want to be. I want to let everyone know i'm here for them. And that they will never be alone again.
You, my friend, are simply, amazing.
No I am just a simple woman who has been sober for a few months.